I was walking around Brooklyn when these cool guys drove by
They said "we’re looking for a good time baby, wanna ride?"
I flashed my biggest smile,
I said "hey, sounds like fun"
Then I flash my armpit hair.
They turn. They run.
Armpit Hair! Armpit Hair! (it’s a weapon)
Armpit Hair! Armpit Hair! (use discretion)
Well, I hear that the Senate is planning a convention to pass an amendment
On body hair prevention. I’m planning on attending,
I’ll be sitting in the front row.
I’ll have chains on my pits screaming
"Hell no, it won’t go!"
I’m like Inspector Gadget, when I unfurl my curls
I lasso all the bad guys, then I rope in all the girls.
Well, I figure I owe ‘em cause they saved me
From the clueless and the hairless Patriarchy!
Armpit Hair, Armpit Hair! (you know it)
Armpit Hair! Armpit Hair! (grow it, grow it!)
Well, I want to go to Europe, the land of Brave and Free
Where it’s considered natural for girls to be hairy.
Where gillette don’t make a profit off of keeping women busy
As pleasers with their shavers and their razors and their tweezers.
So to all the boys and the men with the furry, furry masses
With the ape like backs and the very hairy a**es.
I don’t find that particularly pretty
So get your opinion out of my hairy pitty.
Armpit hair! (forget..) Armpit hair! (gillette)
Armpit hair! (don’t cut it) Armpit Hair! (rapunzel swung from it!)
©2001 Alix Olson.
Note: I was planning to publish the entire poem but realised that some parts are rated R, and this blog is supposed to be MA(Aussie ratings, because Malaysian ratings basically don't mean much). On a happier note, I'm pleased to inform you that my hair is growing well!