Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Mr Lonely

No, it's not about me.

After being mushy for the weekend, Danny has decided to turn melancholic for the next 3 months or so. Reason? Su Yin has "dumped" him for her studies. So, this song is dedicated to him, especially when he finds it hard to sleep at night, thinking of her:

Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody for my own
I am so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
Wish I had someone to call on the phone

Now I'm a soldier, a lonely soldier
Away from home through no wish of my own
That's why I'm lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I wish that I could go back home

Letters, never a letter
I get no letters in the mail
I've been forgotten, yes, forgotten
Oh how I wonder, how is it I failed

Now I'm a soldier, a lonely soldier
Away from home through no wish of my own
That's why I'm lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I wish that I could go back home

(Words and Music by Bobby Vinton and Gene Allan)

Anyhow, I am of the opinion that women in general handle loneliness better than men. For example, reading Danny's blog makes you feel that the world is so depressing, while Su Yin's blog seems interesting and quite "alive". Danny talks about how much he misses her, while Su Yin talks about what she's been doing since arriving in Kuching. Apparently I was told that for an elderly couple, should the wife passed away first, usually it won't be long before the man joins her in the grave while widows tend to live much much longer after the death of their husbands.

Is it true? If it's true, why then?

Could it be that we men are not apt in expressing our emotions? I mean, we in general have been brought in an environment where we supposed to be tough and strong. I remember growing up with the phrase "Hero boh hau eh!"(Heroes don't cry!) etched on my mind that no matter what, I'm not supposed to show my frailty by crying. So most of us men show little or no sign of hurt and sadness when bad things happen. I didn't cry at all when my dad was hospitalised. I didn't cry when he passed away. I didn't cry at his funeral. Eventually I cried a few days after that in my bed room. That was the most extreme behavior I've ever displayed but it just happened.

Ok, back to the men/women issue. We men are supposed to portray that tough nut attitude, so we don't normally show our sadness for the world to see. We don't talk about it with our buddies- we just stay and act cool. It would be too embarassing for us to look weak in front of our buddies. For the women, they've benefited from being able to express their emotions more openly than men. Girls get together when they are sad, they share what is bothering them and they try to encourage one another.

So when a couple is apart, the ladies, who are more in touch with their emotions, find it easier to release out their feelings to a friend and get on with life; while the other party will start having his own pity party.

This is just my opinion- I could be wrong about this. I welcome your views.