Sorry Simon, for copying your style again... don't sue me ya :)
"Pay attention, my Padwan learner! There are 10 things
1. Be media friendly.
2. Never lose your cool during an interview.
3. Think before you say something stupid.
4. Know when to shut up.
5. Don't talk as if you're the Internal Security Minister... please remember the word "DEPUTY".
6. Check with your boss before you say something contradictory.
7. Apologise quickly before your boss reprimands you; otherwise, it will make you look even more incompetent.
8. When apologizing, don't deny making the offensive statement- especially when the audio file is freely available on the internet.
9. Learn from Kheng Yaik and Samy Vellu on how to make stupid statements and still manage to get away with them.
10. Take a month long vacation and hope that the heat will go off.
"Hmm... Perhaps it's a good time to go on a holiday-
but not to China though...."