Thursday, June 30, 2005
For the record, I have a high forehead!!
If my hair ever starts to drop, I'll definitely go bald- God forbid if I'll ever end up looking like Zizou.
With all due respect, Zizou is probably one of the ugliest football players around because of his hair. With the money he's earning, why can't he get a hair job or something?
Anyway, gone are the days when being bald is something embarassing. Now it's sort of a fashion statement, besides the fact that it makes you look cool:
the epitome of toughness!
There are a couple of footballers who were/are bald and that sure didn't hurt their careers:
I did comtemplate the idea of shaving it bald to see how I look like, but being a fitness instructor, it is better to have my hair on because it helps to keep the sweat from flowing all over my face. I shall let nature take its course then...
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
This is my first time lodging a police report other than vehicle accidents, and- to be honest- it's kind of a hassle. First, I went to the Kepong station to make my report at around 11am. After that, I had to go to the Sentul station(Kepong falls under daerah Sentul) to see the officer handling the report. It's ridiculous really that I had to travel about 20-30 minutes from my home to do that, and not that the officer asked anything more than what I wrote in my report... oh wait, he did ask one couple of questions:
"Ada security guard ah?"
"Security guard orang asing ke atau..."
Basically nothing much happened- it was like a casual conversation with him and a total waste of time. No wonder people dread making police reports, as if it is not stressful enough to lose something. What I don't understand is why I couldn't do everything in the nearest police station and then the officers there simply just submit my report to the Sentul station. Talking about being efficient...
At the cinema
Last weekend, we went to watch Mr & Mrs Smith at the new GSC cineplex at 1 Utama(that's right, 1U now has both TGV and GSC)- we had been planning to watch it for that last 3 weeks but could only managed to make it on time for it this Saturday(Last 2 Saturdays we had to settle for Madagascar and Batman Begins respectively). While waiting for the cinema to be ready, I couldn't resist taking some pictures with my gf's mobile phone.
Before the cinema was ready, you could see from the picture above that people were already waiting outside. Do remember that we are talking about people with tickets that had their seat numbers on it ya....
The moment the cinema indicator went green, this is what happened...
Why do people rush into a cinema? It's not free sitting and no matter what, you'll get whatever seat you paid for. It's just so kiasu!!!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
So today, I got one extended off day(emergency leave) to do the police report and stuff. Looks like I will need to get my new car as soon as possible- I initially told the salesman that I would only get the car in Aug.
For the time being, how I wish that I could go back to sleep and wake up, realising this is nothing but a bizzare dream...
Good bye my Kawasaki Eliminator- it's been nice having you.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Friday, June 24, 2005
yeah, shame on me...
Nevertheless, the onus is on me to mend the bridge.... and since Mike is on my friendster list, I'd figure I should take some time to see if there's anything we have in common. Learning from my past mistakes, I will blot out the unneccesary stuff because I don't know whether he intends anyone else besides his friends to see them.
Besides being born in Penang, we don't really have much in common. The moment I realised that Mike likes to read The Fundamental of Physics, I know that I'm way out of his league. Heck, the only books I read nowadays are those Hong Kong kung fu comic books from Jade Wong. Ever though we both love photography, we aren't really the same- he likes taking pictures, while I like stealing them.
Fortunately, I discovered that we do love to watch TV/movies. I am surprised to see that he loves "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", a British movie directed by Madonna's hubby- can't remember his name though. It's a funny movie but I don't think it was ever shown here in Malaysia, since we are so into the American stuff. I watched it in Australia. I wonder how he got to watch it... ooh, something to talk about next time!
So Mike loves South Park -must be because of his time in the US. I've not watched it since I came back from Australia. I did watch the movie though, and it was hilarious!! I used to have the VCD, until my nephew borrowed my collection and lost so many of them! CSI...err, which one? Nowadays I don't have much time to watch any of them anymore. Back in Penang, I had my own Astro; now, I'm staying with my brother's and he's perpetually bewitched by the Wah Lai Toi TVB series.
Looks like it's going to be hard to connect with Mike again... not that we were that close in the first place. The most memorable thing we shared is watching football at his place one night and I asked if he wanted to eat instant noodles. He replied "no", and I uttered the most memorably phrase,"You don't want, I want..." Remember that, Mike? ;-)
Ahh... looking forward to seeing you, bro!
Anyhow, congratulations to the winners of the PPS Blog Awards:
Neophyte of the Year: Simon
Ping of the Year : Jeff Ooi for Screenshots vilified on Berita frontpage, by Jeff Ooi
Blog of the Year : Kenny Sia (his coconuts must have grown even bigger by now)
If anyone is interested in looking at some pictures:
Once again, congratulations to PPS and thanks Aiz for making it possible!!!
Thursday, June 23, 2005
GUYS, do you feel moody at certain time of the month? Just read about this article from Ananova, which probably explains it. Here is the complete article:
Boy 'starts having periods'
Doctors in India are baffled by a teenage boy who appears to have started having periods.
Tarak, from Kalna in West Bengal's Burdwan district, has reportedly been experiencing menstrual symptoms for a year.
The 15-year-old bleeds from his penis in the second week of every month, reports the Hindustan Times.
The youngster is also said to suffer from nausea, stomach ache and mood swings.
Sudip Mondol, a local physician, said: "The boy has male organs but he has feminine attributes. If tests of his blood samples prove the presence of ovum, this would be a rare medical case."
Pradip Mitra, of the West Bengal Gynaecological Society, said: "The presence of female functional endometrial in a male prostate gland can cause this type of abnormality."
As a guy, I may never fully understand how PMS feels like but I've had my terrible encounters with PMS. With my ex, I had to be careful when it's that time of the month. Heck, I can't even joked about it or she'd explode right in front of me, saying that I was being insensitive! Thank God my current gf doesn't behave in that manner- she is cheerful even when she's menstruating. There are times when she's having those awful cramps but she is still nice and sweet to me... I'm lovin' it! However, that doesn't mean that I can say whatever pops up in my head. Maybe it's because of the previous experience, I still tread carefully when she's having it.
My blog idol Kenny Sia wrote about PMS and I think it's a good read- wrote the things most men want to say to women but do not have the testicular fortitude to say them.
Still, come to think of it, it is amazing for anything to bleed for 7 days and doesn't die.... just kidding!
I AM SORRY
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
My mom's turning 70 in mid July, and we are having a grand dinner with the relatives in Penang. Anyone got any idea what to give her as a present? I was thinking of getting an Ogawa or Osim massage chair for her, until I remembered one important factor:
To certain extent, I dread celebrating brithdays- I don't know what to give as presents. If I were attending a wedding, I could just fork out RM60-80 for ang pow and everything's settled... but not birthdays. For birthday parties, you'll need time to go shopping and match you budget with whatever you think is good for the person. It is actually slightly easier if the person's a girl since all girls like cute-cute stuff- it will be fine as long as the present's got fur on it. But for male friends, that will really test your creativity to get a good present. One of the most unusual presents I've given a guy is a bend weight bar.
Other than that, I sometimes buy books or CDs, but CDs are getting too pricey already. Another good way of buying birthday presents is, of course, to share with a couple of friends to buy something more expensive. That usually works well for persents like CDs, branded clothings, branded stuffed idiots(aka soft toys).
IMHO however, the worst birthdays to celebrate for a guy is his girlfriend's. I shall not disclose too much on that, out of the fear that my girlfriend might be reading this....(shouldn't have given her the link!) It is not that I don't like to celebrate birthdays, just that sometimes it can take up so much of your time to decide what to get.
Have you received any weird presents before? The worst one I've ever got is from this group of friends who chipped in to get me a long sleeve shirt with a sanitary pad for my 18th birthday. I liked the shirt a lot but I had to give the pad to my sister. THANKS A LOT YOU SICK PEOPLE!!!
In retrospect, this group of friends are not that close to one another anymore; Steven, Terence, Bee Yoong, Raynies, and Florence are married(Terence and Bee Yoong to each other), and Danny is engaged. That leaves me, Joyce, Selina, and Michelle who are still single(according to last update)- I hope I've not left anyone out. Wouldn't it be nice to get these 10 people to sit down for a meal again? I wonder if it can be done, maybe, on CNY next year just to see how fat everybody is?
Monday, June 20, 2005
The day after Christmas(26 Dec 2002), I sent dad to the barber to have his hair cut- I had just resigned from my previous company and was going to join my current company in a week's time. While waiting for me to fetch him home, he had a stroke. When I got there, he was already feeling the numbness on one side of his body and we had to carry him into the car. I immediately drove him to the Loh Guan Lye Specialist Centre. Within a few hours, he was already in a coma. The scan showed that he had a serious haemorrahage in the brain and there was little the surgeons could do. Dad passed away the following day at around 11.00am.
If I may repeat his eulogy here(who am I kidding? It's my blog!), there are 3 things I would like to mention about my dad:
1. A filial son
This is perhaps one of his most wonderful and scary traits. Ever since I was small, I'd heard from the old aunts about how obedient my dad was to his parents(my grandparents passed away when I was still very young). One of the most unbelievable(and perhap most stupid by today's standard) things he did was driving my granny to the hair salon and waited IN THE CAR for her to get her hair done. Mind you, we are talking about the old 60's and 70's when cars didn't have air-conditioners! Another example is how my eldest brother got his motorcycle. Apparently when he wanted to have his Suzuki X-7, he didn't approach my dad-he asked my granny and it was my granny who "ordered" my dad to get the motorcycle.
2. A loving husband
Now here's something I really find it hard to understand- he usually let my mom have her ways with things! My mom can be rather unreasonable with things and he rarely argued with her. Sometimes he did look wimpish but in retrospect, I think he showed his love by giving in to her. My mom does not have a gambling problem but she enjoys going to Genting once in a while. Back then when dad was around, he'd take her there quite often and let her enjoy herself, while he would just sit aside watching most of the time. Why didn't he gamble much, you may ask... well, coz he sucked at gambling. Last month when mom was at Genting, my eldest brother mentioned that she cried coz dad's not around to "spoil" her...
3. A wonderful father
Generally my dad was my hero when I was small- I used to believe that he could beat KING KONG. He hardly disciplined me- most of the caning were from my mom- but when he was upset, it was like the worst thing that could possibly happen to me. On the other side, he's a great joker. He was great to hang out with because of his sense of humour(I think I've got mine from him, apart from his good looks). Perhaps being the youngest child, I was the one who never really grew up in his eyes. Last time he used to watch TV lying on the floor - I could still come over and lay my head on his back and talk, even though I was already in my mid 20's then.
Overall, it's quite cool to be with my dad. He's perpetually proud of his children no matter what. Even though he was not a christian then, he used to attend the Christmas and Easter presentations organised by my church because I was in them. Had he been alive in 2003, I think he would've been so proud of me directing the church anniversary drama.
Even though he's not here anymore and I miss his annoying phone calls(i.e. calls made to asked what you are doing at the moment), I'm happy to know that he had made his decision to accept Christ as his Lord and one day I will see him again and say, "Hey handsome! Long time no see ah?"
Friday, June 17, 2005
To answer Leslie's question, YES THERE ARE COMPETITIONS FOR BLOGGERS. The one that Jeff Ooi won is a international award. In the local scene, we have the Project Petaling Street's PPS 2nd Anniversary Awards. And the nominees are:
So if you are a member of PPS, do cast your votes for whoever you think is the best in the respective catagories. Even if you cannot vote, do go there to take a look at the nominees' blog because I think most of them are fantastic. The dateline,though, is today 17 June 2005. I'll be cheering for Kenny Sia!
SARONG PARTY GIRL AFTERMATH
Thanks to my blog on the sarong pary girl story, I've been getting a lot of visitors from Malaysia, Singapore, and Australia. Apparently many have typed "sarong party girl" under Yahoo! search engine and found me instead. How disappointing! Well guys, I have got more bad news for you: according to Jeff Ooi, she has removed the nude picture from her blog.
I wonder how many people will visit me this time for mentioning her in my blog?
Thursday, June 16, 2005
I can't help but notice what is written on the lozenge pack- it sounds so vulgar.
In case you didn't know, I am staying with my bachelor brother. So, normally nobody's home until 5pm or 6pm in the weekdays. There is just so much Astro could do to help me pass the day. I tried sleeping but it didn't work. So I went around looking for food.
nothing in here...
Here as well...
Such is what you get for being a brother of a bachelor. The only nice things about being sick is that I got to watch 2 old episodes of CSI:Miami and 1 new episode of CSI:New York.On another note, Jeff Ooi is the winner of Freedom Blog, Asia. Congratulations and Malaysia Boleh!!
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Today I normally don't have any classes but we are in the midst of practising for the new Les Mills release(we have a new release every 3 months). So tonight I have to attend a RPM tuition and present 2 tracks- Just hope I don't pitam or pengsan halfway.
Apparently reading my blog makes Leslie feel a bit inadequate. All I can say is this:
A blog is all about you, man. You write whatever you like and post whatever picture you want. If people read yours, good; if not, who cares? It's not like we get paid for this(though I would love to be famous on the blogger community). So LES, just be yourself and do whatever you want.
I just came from the clinic earlier and am now in a cyber cafe. It's kinda quiet in the morning since it's a school day, but there are still a couple of teenagers here. What irritates me is one of the kids playing this chinese song over and over and over again- I keep hearing the wor ai ni, blah blah blah... wor ai ni blah blah blah.... It's driving me nuts and I have about 20 minutes to go.....Arggghhhh!!!!!
I'm gonna finish this and head straight to bed again and if I ever hear this song again it will be too soon!!! My God, the song's starting again.....
Monday, June 13, 2005
OK, this is gonna be the last time I use "sex" on my title- I promise. I just can't resist to talk about it in the light of 2 things: 1)my previous entry, aka "SEX" 2)The news report on the Sarong Party Girl blogger from Singapore.
When I first started my blog 1 week ago, I was getting about 30 to 40 hits per day, with the help of Project Petaling Street. The moment I posted the title "SEX" there, my hits went up to 67 for that day! Curiosity kills the cat, they say...
A few days ago, I was telling my girlfriend about how interesting it is to read other people's blogs and Sunday morning, I saw the report of the Sarong Party Girl:
Question: How many people actually went online to look for the blog?
I rest my case.
Friday, June 10, 2005
OK, now that I have your attention...
Besides being a fitness instructor, you may recall that I also work for an multi-national medical supplier. Originally I had wanted to mention the name but since I don't get extra money for doing that, I think the company shall remain anonymous for the time being. It's not a great company but it's not that bad either. I have been working here for 2yrs 6mths and this is the longest time I have been with a company(The previous record was 1yr 6mths). We have annual dinners, annual sports club trips(with minimal contribution from the employees), 1 month contractual bonus plus ex-gratia incentives for the non-sales staff. One of the few complaints I have, though, is the lack of parking space. Not only that, we don't have shaded parking lots- the only person who gets to park under a shade is our country manager.
Also, I hate the fact that I have to start work at 8am and finish at 5.30pm. Back in those days when I was home based in Penang, what I did at 8am was 1)wake up 2)turn on my mobile phone 3)go back to sleep. No such luck here....
Then again, I think I shouldn't complain since now I have my own desk with a brand new computer with 17" TFT LCD monitor. It allows me unlimited access to any website and when I get bored, I can just update my blog- if only I have the administrator's access to install my games.
Since we are a multi-national company, we actually have a showroom on the ground floor, displaying all the full range of medical products we have. With guests/visitors coming on a regular basis, it's no surprise that we have a very beautiful wash room. The people who use this the most are the receptionist and the cleaning lady.
I work on the 1st floor and this is the wash room I frequent.
It's not as nice as the ground floor wash room and I sometimes skip this one and go downstairs to enjoy my moments using the ground floor wash room. Again, I think I should be thankful- at least I don't have to use the ones upstairs where the whole sales department is.
To be honest, the difference between this wash room and the ones you find in the kopitiam is that it doesn't stink. Still, I feel that the company ought to do something about making the sales people's experience in the wash room a pleasant one- After all, they are the ones going out to the field to bring in the profit...
Man, I really have to stop talking about toilet stuff...
Thursday, June 09, 2005
An eight-year old girl was killed after being dragged 400m in a hit-and-run accident.
A van had rammed into the motorcycle that she was riding pillion on.
Berita Harian reported that Ratna Prawit died on the spot in the 3.15pm incident, which occurred near Terbak, Tumpat.
She was on her way to her tuition class and on the bike ridden by her grandfather Eh Chum Eh Deng, 50. Both were thrown off the machine after the collision.
Despite sustaining injuries, Eh Chum chased after the speeding van, along with other villagers who had witnessed the accident.
The paper said the driver finally stopped the van in an alley and fled.
The villagers helped Eh Chum pull Ratna, a pupil at SRK (C) Yok Sze, from under the van.
A witness, Veena Benedict Merimdo, 45, said she thought a stray dog had been hit when she heard a loud thud.
“But I was shocked to see Eh Chum shouting his granddaughter's name numerous times and screaming that she was stuck to the bottom of the van,'' she said.
Due to financial reasons(plus the small fact that I'm sick of the car), I have sold my Ploton to get a smaller car. For the time being, I am using my old EL250 Kawasaki to move about.
not the actual one...
The unfortunate thing is, this old piece of metal is in need of a good servicing. The mechanic was kind enough to lend me a bike....
Suddenly I don't feel so safe anymore...
Riding my biggie around Klang Valley seems safer to me. Now that I have to move around with this tiny Suzuki, I keep wondering if I'd appear on the newspaper for the wrong reason.
What's worse than having to ride on a small bike? The cost of the repair. Apparently the repair's gonna make me poorer by RM800...*sigh*
On to something more cheerful! I should be getting my new car pretty soon and it's definitely not a Proton. For a company that has been around for 20 years, I would say to them: SHAME ON YOU!!! They are still struggling with producing quality cars for us fellow Malaysians, in spite of having the resources to purchase Lotus and venturing into English Football. They still can't make sure that the power windows on the Waja don't spoil within 1 year. The glove box of the Wira/Satria still can't close properly- always a gap on the right side. I have heard of the alarm system of Gen2 going crazy. Iswara suspensions still make some noise when you're driving on an even road. After driving 3 Protons, I think it's about time I switch alliance.
So what's my next car?
Unfortunately, it will take be another life time(not that I believe it reincarnation- just a figure of speech) before I can ever have one. The funny thing is-I've told my girlfriend before- that EVEN if I could afford a Jaguar, I'd probably not buy one. I think it's a waste of money to get a car like that; after all, a car's main function is to take you around... Thinking along that line, here's my new car:
I should get it by early August. In the meantime, I'll just have to brave the KL traffic... remember me in your prayers!
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
The Keys to Your Heart
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
|You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.|
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.
Your English Skills:
MALE AND FEMALE BIRDS...
Just got an email from a colleague and it contains a picture with the question," How do you tell the difference between male and female birds?"
Take a look yourself...
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
On my way there, I just remembered that I already had nasi lemak for breakfast. So, I changed my mind and went to another kopitiam to have char koay teow instead. For a Penangite, finding good char koay teow in the Klang Valley is harder than Nicol David becoming world No. 1. Fortunately, This O & S Restaurant in Paramount happens to have one.
I went to the stall and to my disappointment...
Looks like I've got to go for alternatives, and I settled for a double wan tan mee...
While I was having lunch, I just realised that there are demands for Penang food in the Klang Valley, especially in Petaling Jaya. Even in this kopitiam I noticed there are a few examples:
Notice the stall behind selling PENANG fish balls?
Sad to say, most of the so-called Penang food aren't good at all. In fact, the hawkers aren't even Penangites in the first place! Such hawkers really bring shame to Penang Food(we all know that Penang is the one and only Food Haven in Malaysia, although Kenny Sia may disagree with me). The fact that their business is doing good proves what my brother and I suspected long time ago: Klang Valley peeps have poor taste.
As I was leaving the kopitiam, I'm surprised to discover this western food owner has come up with this ingenious offering:
Would anyone eat fried sphaghetti? Does it taste like fried mee? I'm a sucker for fusion food but I think this is really stretching it...
Finally, this lady owner ought to be given an award for being the most muhibah, though I am a wee bit confused by what she is selling...
Chinese-made Indian rojak anyone???
Monday, June 06, 2005
IT'S OFFICIAL!!!! I'm not a nerd!!!!!
For years I've tried to be one but I never seem to catch the nerd bug. Granted, I look nerdy since I wear glasses but...
Do I look nerdy?
Anyway, this is taken at my day job workplace. I work there from 8am to 5.30pm Monday to Friday. I used to be based in Penang working as a sales representative covering Penang, Kedah, Perlis and Perak. But nowadays you can say that I'm grounded. The company I work for was restructuring and the management wanted me back in the Petaling Jaya office covering the same area. Sh**! You want me to travel 300-400km a couple of times per month??? I had 2 options: (1) ACCEPT company decision (2) RESIGN. To cut the story short, there was a new department called the Customer Care Centre that was going to be set up. I would still be relocating but at least if I get transferred I need not travel anymore. So I applied for transfer and I got it. So here I am...
WHY SHADES WHY?
People do wonder why I would give up a sales position for a desk job. Actually the answer is pretty simple: The desk job allows me to pursue my hobby....
This is what I do for fun... I torture people in the gym! The pictures above are taken from my Body Combat class.
It's tough no doubt(the first time I attend a class, my arms and chest muscles were in pain for 3-4 days!), but it's quite addictive!! Next time I'll try to take pictures of my RPM and Body Pump classes...
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Friday, June 03, 2005
I was upset yesterday night and when I woke up today, I'm still upset. Read on if you want... if it's not that interesting, I apologize because I'm venting my anger.
For those who don't know, I've been teaching Body Combat for a year and RPM 6 months at Fitness First. Recently I also passed my Body Pump training in April.
For this group, we have head teachers for every programme who will assess a trainee before giving the green light for anyone to start teaching solo. I got my clearance from the BP head teacher in mid May and so I sent out a email to all the group fitness coordinators of the gyms requesting for pump classes.
There's this BP instructor who asked me to take his class for a day and after checking with the coordinator of the gym I agreed to take the class. Now, normally this guy gets a lot of members attending his class and personally I like his style of instructing. When I took over, I had only about 10 people in the class, which I think it was alright since IT'S MY FIRST PUMP CLASS.
Last week after class he told me he's thinking of giving up the class and wondered if I wanted it. I was cool with the whole idea. Yesterday, a member asked if I was taking the class next week onwards. Apparently he has informed the members on the Tues class he was taking a break. After checking with him, he said that he'd proposed my name to the coordinator to take the class but the coordinator said she had someone else on her mind.
I'm NOT unreasonable. So I smsed her and asked about the replacement. Later she called but I was shadowing the pump class as usual. Anyhow, I called her back after the class and she confirmed that she'd given the class to someone else due to the following reasons:
1. When I did the replacement class, the numbers were not good.
2. Apparently members are choosy about who instructs the class and there were a few negative feedbacks.
3. The person taking over is a certified instructor and she also has an earlier class at 5.45pm.
4. she did not know that I have been shadowing the class.
As a coordinator, I respect that she has EVERY right to give the class to anyone she likes. HOWEVER, I find her reasons very lame, ESPECIALLY the TOP 2 reasons. I have a few questions in my head:
1. Since when an instructor's ability is assessed through 1 single REPLACEMENT CLASS and, not to mention, HIS/HER FIRST SOLO CLASS?
2. You're giving the class to someone who finishes her class at 6.30pm and has to wait for 2 HOURS to teach pump? I FINISH MINE AT 7.30PM!!!
3. You know I've been asking for classes and I've spoken to you personally about it. Heck, even the instructor told you about me and you made your decision without talking to me. Are you going to remain quiet if I didn't sms you at all?
Mind you, when I started teaching RPM there in January, there were less than 10 people attending. Today, my class has been consistently packed. Not to sound cocky, but I know I am good.
I have also been very supportive when she asked for help. Even my gf wonders why I find it hard to say "NO" to them(the coordinators) while I could say it to her.
Next week onwards, I will be teaching RPM at this gym on monday nights, giving up my other class in another gym which is ALWAYS FULL. WHY? Because she said she couldn't find anyone to take this class which starts earlier.
I feel cheated. I feel insulted. I feel betrayed.... and yes, I am upset.